|How to help: 7 pieces of advice and putting things into perspective
1) It should be all about your friend who suffered the miscarriage. But feeling comfortable talking to your
friend about her loss may be difficult for many reasons. Get over it! Your friend needs you. Now is the time
to think of her. She will appreciate your kindness.
2) Remember there are no magic words that you can say or specific things to do that will instantly take away
your friend’s grief. She needs time to heal. It is OK to convey that you are not sure exactly what to say, but
that you are there for her.
3) If you have had a miscarriage, tell your friend at this time. Then let her guide you in the conversation.
4) Do realize that everyone copes with loss, even the same kind of loss, in different ways.
5) Be specific when offering help. Saying “Let me know what I can do?” puts the burden on your friend to
contact you and doesn't she have enough to deal with already? Tell her you will:
-help around the house (cleaning up, folding laundry, outside chores)
-cook (drop off a meal for her and her family)
-baby sit (her other ids so she can have some time for herself)
-do errands for her
6) Send a bracelet from Our Hope Place to acknowledge your friend's miscarriage loss, and help her in her
healing process. (www.OurHopePlace.com)
7) Think about what you say before you say it… try our “perspective” test before you speak. Try to think of
another type of loss and how the following sentences would sound relative to that loss.
|You can always get pregnant again
||You are diminishing this lost pregnancy, this baby and the hope
and dreams already formulated for this baby. (You can always
get another husband, grandmother, etc.)
|You have other children, consider
|Every child is a blessing and if you were trying for another baby,
you were hoping for another baby. (You have other
grandparents, best friends.)