My Sister’s Miscarriage

My sister had been pregnant for two months when she found out that she had miscarried her baby. I had no
idea that this had occurred and simply went over for a visit one day without any forewarning. We were very
close, yet she hadn't confided this tragedy to me. I found out later why.

When I walked into her home my brother-in-law told me that she was lying down in bed and that she had lost
the baby. I asked if I could see her and he said she wanted to be alone. I felt stunned. What was I to do? My
best friend was shutting me out for the first time in my life. We have always been friends to the end and had
shared everything throughout the years. I wanted to walk into the room and wrap my arms around her, yet
she did not want me.

I could not go against her wishes so I left. I believed that I felt as empty and alone as she did, but probably
not. I have never had a miscarriage myself so I really cannot understand the feelings that go along with it. I
sure had a mix of emotions though. On the one hand I felt devastated for her and on the other hand I was a
bit perplexed about being shut down.

I knew that I had to do something but didn't know what to do. I decided to buy her a small bouquet of very
simple silk flowers (
www.silkflowerswarehouse.com). I chose silk flowers that were white to keep things
understated. I wrote a note, "Thinking of you" and attached it. I delivered it to her husband later on that day
and didn't go in. I asked him if he could just put them on the kitchen table and he did.

I heard from my sister a few days later and we cried together. She told me that the miscarriage was
something so deep and personal that she didn't want to share it with anyone. She said that she wasn't even
talking to her husband about it for the first few days. She just needed time alone. I said I understood.

She went on to have three healthy babies later but always said that it had been one of the worst times of her
life. We still remain close to this day and I believe we even became closer from the experience. She learned
that she could count on me to give her space when she needed it and I learned that she would come back to
me when she was ready.
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